I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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