I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The ass gains better be worth it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
