I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
