Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
