How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
