Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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