fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
