I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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