I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
