i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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