Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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