Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
