you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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