They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
