this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
