so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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