I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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