Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
