Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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