apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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