that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.