Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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