You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.