We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.