You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ketchup is God's man juice
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
