As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
