Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Plan B is the new Plan A
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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