Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
handjob tips. give me some.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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