I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You made out with two different species that night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
