what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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