Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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