Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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