No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude i'm inner monologue high
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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