dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
