I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
