I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
