dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
