I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
