Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
