You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We have started to decorate penises.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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