did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
