How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
