She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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