rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
