I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
