Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
