I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize