Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
third nipple confirmed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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