Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
