wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This is the high leading the old right now
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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