with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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