I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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