I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
