Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
