I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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