it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
