Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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