would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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