I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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