for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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