Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
