oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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