i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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