you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
