all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
