Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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