You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
