Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
